CHAPTERS OF MY LIFE

              True but It's a long story!

I don't know if there are many people who have the same feelings,mode, love life, educational status, mentality, family, sadness, happiness, like I do.

 This world is filled with ups and downs, I didn't expect to be born into this kind of world, so many things that just happens and takes time to heal are so UNBEARABLE to ME, I don't know about other people's feelings, I just know about mine.

   Starting from SQUARE ONE:-  As a girl, I was born with BOWLEGS, walking was just painful and how ugly I was kept friends away from me, I remember at the age of 5 on my CAREER DAY in school, None of my CLASSMATES wanted to mingle with me, I had a favorite teacher who kept me around him I felt a bit relieved, I was all by myself when the activities went on, nobody wanted to play with me.  I was so sad, but I was GREATFUL that my mom later came to school and kept me company.

 Of course SQUARE TWO:- I finally made it to the teenage stage of my life. As a teen my life changed, at first it was a little bit better than when i was still a child because at that time I didn't have friends, I wasn't brilliant, I was so ugly which made me look down on myself. My bowlegs was one thing that drained me down, it was painful to walk especially in school. I even had night sections at my mom's friend home to get my leg stretched at all times in order to get my legs straight and Normal. The hot rubs, and stretch were painful which kept my eyes busy with flow of TEARS which I couldn't withhold. I went through all this pains with a happy smile on my face because I saw improvement in my legs.

  But in the stage of being a teenager, I felt different because I hit puberty which is a stage of life and it's normal but I came to realize that everyone in this stage encounters almost the same problems.some of it includes:- period cramps, emotional stress, relationship problems and so on. But for me I never thought that the biggest problem I had when I was a kid would affect me so much during the stage of teenage life. Of course I and my sister were born with a sickness called NIGHT BLINDNESS, we just cannot see at night in the dark, sometimes we still can't see clearly even when there is a little exposure of light, but this is actually affecting me the most especially during the time that I will have to go to college and I will be staying Alone, how do I have to move around when it's dark?? This just bothers me Everytime, my parents have tried possible remedies, buying costly drugs for me and my sister but it just doesn't seem to have an effect on us, I always feel like Giving Up. There is nothing else I can do, there is no help so I got to move on with life.

  In this stage of teen life I tend to be exposed to know everything especially about sex, marriage life, relationship, college life and so on. And I have also experienced many things, but I had to finish high school first, high school is one of the most important step in teenage life. 

Being in high school is not easy, a person has to stay motivated in studies though I never liked to read much, but studying and researching , trying out study aids has been part of me. Big subjects such as chemistry, physics, mathematics, further mathematics, economic, all the way these subjects are a little hard to know unless you take time to read and understand them. But it's all good because I can read and write very well, I was in a cool school and there studying was a goal and having good grades was an achievement. Going to school is not easy you got to spend a lot of money too, but then what if you don't have enough money to get books and also pay for exams fee, and sometimes not everyone uses the school bus so how will you get your transport fare through and from school everyday:- This was one big problem for me too, it affected me badly, at that time I had exams to take up my mom's business was low, and my dad's salary was not paid yet because it wasn't the end of the month, so sometimes I had to save up and sometimes my mom will borrow money from her close neighbors in order for me to get a transport fare. It was difficult for my mom too because she also had to pay my siblings school fees.  

    This was one biggest challenge and situation that hit me really bad , I found myself thinking all the time about how I was going to get money for the next day transport fare. So I decided to start dating then I met a guy from another country little time passed and we started dating, he was happy that we were dating. so we dated for more than 2 weeks plus, During those weeks my School Leaving Certificate Examination started and I studied too, the exams started, it was ok I was able to answer specific questions. it was easy for me, days passed, all my savings went in as transport fare and my mom didn't have money all the time to give to me. I was so worried, I didn't know what to do so I decided to tell my bf that I wanted money, I told him why I wanted it also I didn't specify how much I wanted , I just told him to give me any amount of money, he agreed to help but that was under a condition. I asked him what the condition was and he said that I had to show him my Private Part when next we had a video call, I was COMPLETELY SHOCKED, I was CONFUSED, I really needed money for transport to the exams center which was in another town FAR from my home. But on the other hand, GOD knows I couldn't do what he asked, I couldn't it was bad, I couldn't do it.

     I told him I couldn't do it then he said "IF I DON'T DO IT THEN I SHOULD FORGET ABOUT THE MONEY" I CRIED and kept PLEADING for his HELP but all ears proofed deaf, he didn't care about me anymore and BLOCKED ME, it was painful but I had to move on and MANAGE. Then I met another guy from another country who seemed so interested in me and wanted to be my bestie, we talked and had video calls severally at that time I had another external examination which was upcoming, I knew I would face the same situation. Days and weeks passed and the exams started, my mom gave me transport fare when she had it and sometimes when she doesn't she pleads with cab drivers to help give me a free drop at the exam center and sometimes she borrowed because the transport fare from my home to the exams center was too much. I don't ever beg for money from people but this situation forced me to, so I had to ask my bestie to help me with little money for my transport he said he will help, I needed the money urgently so I asked him when the money would arrive in my country, he saw the message but didn't reply not less than 2 Seconds he BLOCKED ME this situation forced me to cry as hard as I could, I felt as if there was no hope for me, my mom kept borrowing and anytime she made sells I had hope lol, all these kept going till when I was done with exams, I got my own result and the BEAUTIFUL SIGNATURE FROM THE BOARD OF EXARMINERS got me PRAYING and THANKING GOD for the strength I got during those hard times though there was no graduation party for me and my classmates because of the covid-19 .

 I just kept meeting people who use me, lie to me , hurt me and I don't know why, maybe because I TRUST to much. I haven't forgotten the times I cried bitterly each time I got hurt. People just come into my life, make me feel as if they care , promise and want something in return, fool around with me, some even had FAKE IDENTITIES, I don't know if am the only one who have fallen a victim of these.

 To be honest the names and faces of those who have hurt me are all STAMPED in my HEART, I can never forget them and I know there are people like me who feel the same way when they get hurt .

True , people all over the world just don't TRUST people they meet but in my case I would PREFER a person who wants to be part of my life to trust me. It's  SENSELESS to want to be part of a person's life either as a friend or INTIMATE Person without trusting them. Meeting people who you care about but they just hurt you shows that you have been wasting your time, care , love and energy on them , it just hurts.

EXPERIENCE indeed is A GREAT TEACHER of LIFE , if I don't experience things, how will I KNOW and LEARN so people hurting me has been an experience I won't forget, this is not the last stage of my life am still growing up and I pray that mine and everyone's future should be filled with people who will love, care and support them. I have been through a lot in life but am still moving on which shows how STRONG I am, if you have gone through a lot in life yet you have stepped up and move on expecting the best in the future then know you're a STRONG person because there are some who just give up, please if you meet this kind of persons help and encouragement them.

 But then I would love to leave a question behind, it's an individual personal question and the question is:- 

   WHAT WILL YOU DO TO THOSE WHO HURT YOU, IF YOU HAPPEN TO MEET THEM IN LIFE, WILL YOU FORGIVE THEM OR WILL YOU PAY BACK WHAT THEY DID TO YOU??????????

 This is indeed a beautiful question.

Though it's a personal question, if you feel to share it with the public please feel free to comment in the comment section.

It's also a personal question for me, but let me share a little advice:- This is life you've got to move on, work HARDER and SUCCEED, so that when you meet and encounter with those who hurt you and then you talk to them about how your life has been and how successful you are, and how happy you are living your life without them, they will definitely be SHOCKED and they will realize how bad their ATTITUDE was, you don't have to say it they will ask for your FORGIVENESS and it will be a SHAME on their part, am talking out of experience so please have this in mind. Who ever ask for your help please help out, you might not understand their Condition.